Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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