There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
