she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
