So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
