I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
