dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
