Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
