you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
