i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
