good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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