Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
