my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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