have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
