i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
