i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
