We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
