u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
