i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
