Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Ketchup is God's man juice
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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