it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
