Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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