Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
