I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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