he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
