I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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