The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
