i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
