Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
