Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
