So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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