you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
