hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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