That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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