??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
