she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I need to sanitize my soul.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
