So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
