But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
