I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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