Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
