i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She's the barista slut.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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