But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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