dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
