My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
