Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
