i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
