Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
