he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
