I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
