...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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