The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Boobs are out for the taking
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
