when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
