my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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