she was so not down for the gang bang
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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