they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
