We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
