Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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