im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so let's talk penis.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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