Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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